Please Note: These “reviews” are NOT to be taken seriously and do NOT represent the whole product. The game has only been played for 30 Minutes, which isn’t enough time to write a full balanced review. 

My f*cking ring fingers hurts as s*it, help.

Okay, the game started off pretty decently, menu is really cool and the pixel art is nice. Oh, and you can reassign controls, bloody amazing.

It all started a bit too good, no complaints as of right now (which is impressive because usually, 30MGT reviews are half talking s*it about menus and half talking s*it about the game).

But then I started the actual game…. oh my

Basically, before I continue, you’re this caveman who held his wife until she died and now your sad and go for no f*cking somewhere idk where; still a better love story than twilight tho.

The game is not hard, but f*ck me it’s hard.

You have these 8 buttons: up, down, left, right for movement (duhh) and S, Z, X, C for different actions like jump, throw, swing and dash (I don’t think it’s in that order but who the f*ck cares).

So basically you have to jump and do like actiony platforming s*its, you know.

But this s*it is advanced, you have to jump and hit the s*it and then double jump and boosts forward I don’t even. Tho it does sound really easy on paper but s*it it’s f*cking hard once you actually have to do it.

And now the best part, f*cking check point, or, the lack of them.

This f*cking a*shole of a s*it w*nk stain idiot didn’t put any check points into the game, so if you die, from whatever the f*ck kills you, you start from the beginning of the level and you’re forced to do the whole bloody thing again ARGHHH.

That was my biggest frustration with the game, the game looks nice and all, it is challenging which is expected, but f*ck man, put some checkpoints into this s*it.

Oh, and also if you quit the game while you’re in the first world or whatever you start from the beginning, so if you’re in the third level and you quit, you’ll start back at the beginning of the first level. F*cking yay.

So yeah, that’s it, I’m just happy it’s over… so what game’s nex….. oh f*ck me